Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tacita Ultio

The title is Tacita Ultio, Silent Revenge in Latin.

The night grew colder and darker. My body is still bleeding due to the wound that those filthy creatures inflicted upon me. I can still hear multiple footsteps, flashes of torches can be seen, and dogs barking. My legs are getting numb due to the heavy snow piled up. My vision is getting blur, I’m getting too tired to move around.

Luckily I was able to hide myself in the cave nearby. My heavy breathing echoed in the cave. Suddenly, there was a large bark coming from the entrance of the cave. I was afraid of getting caught. I limp to the side of the boulder, hoping to be unspotted. As the creature creep closer, my heart started to beat faster. I pulled all my courage to stand and get ready to pounce onto the creature. The air was getting colder, my breathing slowed down. All of a sudden, there was a loud shout from the entrance. Another creature was calling out to the vile creature besides me in an unknown language. It left.

A moment passes by slow, I lick the wound carefully. Even though the pain was unbearable, it will not change my mind set. I will take advantage of the silent night to get my revenge on that creature. I said to myself, “tacita ultio”. The despicable creature had killed my wife, my child, and my friends. I’m left all alone in this forest. The paradise I once knew became my last hunting ground for revenge.

As quietly as possible I ran out into the woods, following the direction of the lights and also the scent of the creature. My heart was filled with only pain. “What have we done to deserve this?” I ask God. We had never crossed the boundary, to the place where the trees had been chopped down. We only hunt when we need to feed. We have always been minding our own business. The creature we allowed to live alongside had misused the kindness we given. They were weak at first, slowly they grew in number. They reproduce like rats. Now their kind outnumbered us. It was a mistake to let them live.

The scent of that creature became stronger and stronger. There were few torches that can be seen moving around. The torches were moving and seen together in pair. They kept shouting to each another. As expected, they were treating this as a game. They were making too much noise and were too noticeable. I crept slowly towards the direction of the scent. The creature is now a few steps away from me.

My eyes glared at the creature, my claws ready and my fangs steadied at it. My hatred towards it was boiling. I leapt towards it with all my might, biting the neck until it snap. The creature’s blood was gushing continuously, and the creature went limp. When I realise I was blinded by the blood, it was too late. “Bang!” the shot went through my heart. The creature’s companion shouted, “No, Thomas. Don’t die.”



This story is my 1st assignment to be passed on 18 August.
It's based on something i really idolize. The wolf.
The story is way too simple. The quality of the story was too low due to the restraints of words.
Words count : 507
Maximum: 500

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Missa Rabell



A warm breeze of wind lands on my ice cold cheek. The vast black charcoal sky above me filled with twinkling stars. Colourful stars below the mountain I’m on. I feel amazed at how life is such a wonderful place. From a distance, a couple is sharing their warmth right under a tree. On the left, Small kids walking fast full of excitement. Their parents give a sweet and warm smile. A salary man is sipping a cup of hot drink after a tiring day.

I felt jealous. I felt rage. I felt sorrow. I felt loneliness.
I lost my inspiration. I lost my will to share. I lost my will to think. I lost my will to walk. I lost my will to live. I’m here alone. Knowing there’s no one out there for me. Who would want a useless person? Who would want a lifeless person? Who would want me?

Have you felt completely lost? Have you felt complete sorrow? Have you undergo the feelings of hopeless? Have you lost something dear to you? Have you tainted your hand? Have you felt pure hatred?
My legs feel tired. My eyes are swollen. My chest hurts. My body feels cold. My….. A strong gust of wind blew right through me. I lift both my hands high. I flap my wings. My aim was the sky. Though my wings are broken, I flap it as hard as I go. I can close my eyes. Hearing the blaze of wind. A sudden thud. Siren. At the end, white sound….

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum.

Why?
Why are you there?
Why do you stand there so boldly?
Why do you look into my eyes?
Why do you listen to my voice?
Why are you before me?
Why do you talk to me?
Why do you follow me around?
Why do you try to meddle in my affairs?
Why won't you leave me alone?
Why did you and i meet?
Why did you get to know me?
Why did you appear before me?
Why are you so attached to me?
Why do you laugh?
Why are you so meddlesome?
Why are you in such a good mood?
Why are you so cheerful?
Why don't you cry?
Why are you so bright?
Why do you seem to have fun?
Why do you look at everything?
Why do you know everything?
Why do you forgive everything?
Why are you happy about everything?
Why do you make me worry?
Why do you shake me?
Why do you make me lost?
Why are you interested in me?
Why do you make me suffer?
Why do you condemn me?
Why do you make fun of me?
Why do you trample all over me?
Why do you taunt me?
Why do you break me apart?
Why do you tear me apart?
Why do you beat me up?
Why can't you forgive me?
Why can't you understand me?
Why do you make me cry?
Why do you give me hope?
WHY DO YOU BRING ME TO DESPAIR?
WHY DO YOU PRESSURE ME?
WHY DO YOU TRAP ME?
WHY DO YOU DISTURB MY SOUL?
Why? Why? WHY? WHY?!?!
Why don't you leave already?
Why are you still there?
Why.... Do you exist?
[The courage to be alive
An entrusted future
The strength that everyone gave me
Trust in love.]

Love, i got to feel it.
If you put your trust in me.
I know what my life would be.
Oh, you are all i ever need.
I try to hear what you say.
So i pray. but you're fading away.
Don't go and break my fragile heart.
we won't fall apart.
'cause you're my only star.
I wonder why my tears come at night.
Calling you so like a little child.
All the things you have in mind.
I wish i could see your insides.
my love, you've got to feel it.
And if we put our trust in you and me.
You know what our love would be.
Oh, you are the one i believe.

[Crying.. Hand shaking.. Heart breaking.. Gasping for air]

Ef - A tale of memories(Season 1)
Ef - A tale of melodies(Season 2)
Something that's worth to watch..

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I’m here. I’m still here. I’m sitting in this dark room all by myself. I’m holding the parcel that you gave me, the first and last. I’m regretting for what I have done. After reading the message from you, I want you again. It hurts so badly. I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you.

I know that I was a jackass. I’m just a god damn playboy. Why did I ever turn into this kind of person. Maybe this is because I was hurt once, I’m afraid of being hurt again; in the end I hurt those I love. I was played by a bitch. She stole my heart with her appearance, she was like an angel. No matter how many my times my friends tell me that she a playgirl; I did not listen. I ended up losing all my friends. I’m all alone. I want people to feel how I feel.

The time we spend together was like paradise; I never felt so warm and calm. The way you love; the way you hug me; the way you cheer me; the way you smile; the way you kiss me; the way you arouse me; the way you joke; the way you dress; the way you talk; I miss it all; I want it again.

As I open the box you sent to me. Foul stench fill the room. The box contains a heart; flooded with blood; a note lies on it. It reads, “I give you my heart. I love you.”







[Wrote for fun. It's not real]

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

REMINDER

Upcoming Titles.(reminder for myself)

- Double Sharp Edge Love.[PB + PG]
-The Prince.[Romantic Story]
-Filth of Beauty.[Incest]

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My dear friend..

He i am. Tears flowing down.
I'm wearing black shirt. Black pants. Black shoe.
I'm in black. My hat, covering my eyes.
How i wish it rains now.
so that it will cover everyone tears.
God is crying for you. Everyone is.
You are my dear friend.

Death is a beautiful thing. Not ugly.
As you will not suffer in this ugly world.
You will not be sad in this world.
You will not cry in this world.
You will not feel any pain anymore.
God Love you more.
That's why he wants you to be with him early.

Your smart. Your inteligent. Your good-looking.
You can have a better life. You can succeed in life.
But now, you are beside Him.

We pray for you. We mourn for you.
As you're my Dear Friend.
Rest In Peace

[Mood >> Crying.. Being sad..]

Friday, November 21, 2008

The wide blue sky


Hey you. Yeah you.
Look at me. Just look at me.
I'm no good. I suck at my life.
There's nothing I'm good at.
I never get the things i ever wanted.
No matter how i fall.
No matter how i fail.
No matter how i pleaded.
I will never get it.
But i will always get up and start moving again.
What i want?

Look the wide blue sky.
Catch it. Hold it. Grab it.
Don't let go. Jump towards it.
It freedom of life.
It's hard to get.
Suck it up.
Because you must get it.

Here I'm standing at the mirror.
Grounding my fist. I hate my life.
One struck, i crumble into million of pieces.
I look down. Thousand of eyes look back.
The broken memories of me.
The strong gust of wind falls.
Blowing me away.

I'm hurt. I'm sad.
The way you run away.
I'm not playing.
I'm not pitying.
Hey, I'm pulling my courage.
To say i like you.
But now i don't wanna say this word.

I want to say I love you.
Love you that i can't breath.
Holding my chest. Begging for air.
Why is this so? I know that it is impossible.
What impossible? Impossible to find another you.
Your different from others. That's what makes you special.
I wanna shout out loud;

Look the wide blue sky.
Catch it. Hold it. Grab it.
Don't let go. Jump towards it.
It freedom of life.
It's hard to get.
Suck it up.
Because I must get it.
Your the sky i want.

Oh blue sky. Your wide.
Majestic and beautiful.
Sometimes hot, sometimes cold.
You portraits thousand of cloud.
You carry the sun.
You stole my heart.

Life is never about love.
I'm moving. I'm going into war.
The war of the society.
New things, New life.
But what i want is you.
The word 'Taylor'; the word 'Tha'
One expensive. One Cheap.
My path of life is dividing.
Leading into thousand of choices.
I want to be savior of thousand.
I want to be curer of disease.
I want to be a lover too.
I wanna shout out so loud the world can hear;

Look the wide blue sky.
Catch it. Hold it. Grab it.
Don't let go. Jump towards it.
It freedom of life.
It's hard to get.
Suck it up.
Because I must get it.
Your the sky i want.
There's only one sky.
I love the wide blue sky.
I love you too.

'Even though I'm not that good in love. I will try to make you happy. I really love you for real'

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sweet and sour Love

Pictures taken by Jian.




Hey Mary, I love you so much. “The last word I ever said to her.”



I was working at the beach of Redang as a bartender. People was filling the place like magic, it was the peak season of summer. Many people was going around with their business and enjoying their vacation. I was unlucky; my parents went bankrupt and ask me to work by myself as they could not bear to involve me in their problem. They want me to start a new life without them. At first I was unwilling, but they were too persistent that I have to obey them.

I live with my friends in a house nearby the beach faraway from everyone. We shared the rent together; that made living expense became really easy. The job I had has a promising pay. I enjoyed my life here on Redang. One night, I met a beautiful girl; she wore a beautiful red dress with her exotic make up. She was half drunk and was sulking about being dump on the day of her birthday. She told me that on the way home; in her boyfriend car, he told her that he wanted to break up because he suddenly was in love with another girl. I felt she was an idiot because she still liked him and kept getting together with him again. It was her 5th break up with him.

I took sympathy on her and just let her drink free booze. She asks me; whether she could crash in my place since she left her stuffs in her ex-boyfriend car. After a while of thinking I let her because she seems harmless and was attractive to me. The other reason was that my friends are out of town for a week for their project. I drove her home with my proton wira. She vomited out of the car on the half way home. Luckily I was smart I open the window before she came in the car because I knew she would vomit or it was just the car being smelly. I laugh at myself after thinking that. She fell like a rock and slept like a baby. In the end I had to sleep in one of my friend room just to keep the distance from her. I did not want her screaming in the morning; shouting at me for violating her. Thanks to the hard work at the bar, I fell asleep like a rock too.

The next morning, I woke up early as the people say early birds gets the worm. Literally I cook bacon and egg for two. She woke up and came to the kitchen with her blurriness. Suddenly she asks me “What’s for breakfast?” It seems that stranger doesn’t bother her much. When I push the plate to her, she finishes it in a flash; while I was half way through. I thought to myself “No wonders why she was dumped by the same guy for five times, she is a slob.”

She kisses me on the cheek and said thank you. I was stoned by her. She left for the morning and came back after 3 hours. She was wearing new clothes and brought a baggage with her. “Don’t tell me that you’re going to stay here?” She answers me “Why not?” Things were getting out of hand. I heard foot step outside my house or should I say ‘our house?’ I took a peek and was amazed by her beauty again. She was wearing a oversize pink top and she looks like she was not wearing anything at the bottom. The sun was setting She pulled me out and ran to the beach. I was guessing what she wanted. She pulled her shirt up. “Oh, she is undressing. OH NO! She is undressing.” I quickly close my eyes with my hand. Suddenly i feel something warm grabbing my arm; she pulls my hand away from my face and pulls me towards the sea. Apparently she was wearing a bikini; it has the same orangery colour as the sun and the skies.

She pushes me into the sea. The seawater was painful; it was burning my nostril and throat. I stood up and pulled her into the sea too. We ended up laughing and enjoying the afternoon. After that we walk around the beach and took notice of some beautiful flowers; it was white lilies. She pick one up and smell it. I smelled a soft and nice scent, it wasn’t the flower but the scent from her long silky hair.

She was a sloppy girl sometimes, but sometimes she was a woman who can really know how to tease a guy. I was falling in love with her. It was really a tiring day; I went to bed straight away. The next thing I know, I was up and she was beside me. She was seducing me. We were getting hot until I felt something sharp poking me at the bottom; I was curious and grab it. I look down. “OH MY GOD. IT’S A D**K!!!!”

I woke up from my nightmare on a bright morning. Still soak lightly in my cold sweat; she was sleeping soundly beside me. I did not want to double check whether she was a male or a female. I had forgotten that I had to sleep in my friend room while she sleeps in mine for a while. She looks really cute when she was cuddling against my arm. She looks like an innocent child even though I know she isn’t. She woke up and rubs her eyes. She wipes her drools against my shirt and laughs a while. She stole my heart by the way she acts towards me. She got up and kisses me on the forehead.

My door was suddenly slam opened, my friends came in shouting “Surprise! We are back” Instead they were surprised by who I was being kissed by. We had some discussion with my friends, she had no where to stay and she ended up sleeping in the same room with me. She lied that she was my mate, or did she? I bought a new futon by using my salary and slept on the floor. Every morning I woke up, I find her hugging me tightly beside me. It seems no use trying to draw a line. She keeps sleeping beside me; on the floor; in my bed; even in my friend room. They laugh at our cuteness but it was more to hers’.

It was a mutual love; she loved me; I loved her but I was still shy around her. She keeps fluttering my heart. We were so attached to each another. Every night when I am working, she would pop up and try to buy drinks ranging from ‘air strike’, ‘night blue’, vodka with coke and a lot more. She knew more drinks than me. She would always end up with a cup of milk, a bowl of strawberry sundae, lemon tea and a coke. She would finish them and give me kiss on the cheek; she always ask for drinks to tease me. Her physique can lie to others but it doesn’t to me. She told me that she was still 17, I scolded her for drinking. She agreed with me that she wouldn’t drink until she was at the appropriate age.

Three more days to her birthday, I bought red wine as a gift; I met her when she was in her red dress. She threw it away since it was her ex’s favourite. Unluckily she told me that she had something else to do for three days and wouldn’t be back after her birthday. I said"I love you so much" She was gone after leaving a kiss on my lips.

Two days later, it was unlucky for both of us. My friends drove us to another town to have some fun since I took a leave from my job. We stop beside the sidewalk because my friend had to get some stuff. It was a cloudy day. I recognize someone who looks familiar. The sun was unblocked by the clouds. It was her. She was with another man, I didn’t really care since it might be her father or brother but the guy doesn’t seem to be around the age of fatherhood. She did not mention that she had a brother; she only has a little sister. I look at her again; she was kissing the man. By the time I knew what was going on, my friend drove away. I felt cheated and didn’t want to believe it.

At night, we were watching television. There was news about a guy and a girl died in a car crash in the town from where we were this afternoon. The picture of the dead was shown at the side of the television. Everyone was gasping. I went to the mortuary to get the last time being with her. I zipped open the bag and cried. Tears drop unto her face. It seems like that she was crying too. I left white lilies on top of her and left.

Even though; I knew it was real; I regret and hated her; She had cheated on me; I wanted treat her as a passerby in my life; I want to forget about her but I can’t seem to hate her or forget her.

Three years later. Someone knock on the door of my house. I am still living in the same house while some of my friends moved away. A girl who looks like someone I really knew said that she knows me. She held a lily and told me that she had a sister who died three years ago. She died a day before her birthday because she wanted to buy something for the one she really loved. She died with her best friend who seems like a brother to her. Now I know why I could blame her; hate her; forget her; it was because somewhere in my heart, it was telling me that she didn’t cheat on me.

I fell to the ground on my knees and started crying. The girl hugs me and said “even though I can’t really be like my sister but I don’t mind replacing her.” She smiled at me.

Loveless. His world of black and white.

Picture of Jian. Editted by Dark Nogisaka



Well. This story is about a blinded boy. He was blinded by love. His name was Loveless.

He fell in love with a girl, because she was a really nice girl. He chased after her for 3 years and never gave up. The sad thing is nothing ever became better. Their relation is same. They were just plain old friends.

For three years, Loveless loved her so much but was always teased by his friends. He always thinks that love should not be counted from the outside, but the inside. He cared for her so much. He cherishes her so much. He was always there for her. He was desperate for her.

After confessing more than 6 times and being rejected every time. Finally a faithful day came. This is a blessing or a Curse?
The girl asks: Do you still like me?
The boy was shy and said: maybe, yes.
The girl said: Hey why don't we become couple?
The boy said: Really? Hmm. Alright then? Ha-ha.
The girl said: Yeah. Well, you don't believe me?
The boy said: Yea. I think I am dreaming. Ha-ha
The girl said: Now I pinch u. Can u feel that?
The boy said: Yea. Ha-ha.
The girl said: Alright. I need to sleep now. It’s already late. Goodnight. Muacks.
The boy was so happy but did not know a dreadful experience was coming.

On the next day;
The boy flirt with his new strand of relation.
The girl did not budge much.
No matter how he sweet talks with her, she did not care.
He was feeling weird of her. He thought to himself, “is this really couple-like? Maybe she’s just shy.”

The tragedy happened to him at night;
The girl said. I don't think I really like you.
The boy said. Why? What did I do? Am I not good enough for you?
The girl replied. Nothing is wrong with you. Its Just me.
The hopes of the boy were shot down. His love shattered into millions of pieces. He was confused, delusional and sad. He was heartbroken.

He wanted to forget everything that ever happens. He threw away his life. He started a new one, forgetting everything about the past. He tried forgetting her for a second; then a minute; then an hour; then a day; then a week; then a month; a year; slowly becoming forever. He lost himself in the process of forgetting her, never to be his old self.

After few Years. The Boy was filled with Hatred and Agony. He found out the truth. Why that faithful day he had been 'dump'. She was desperate for a boyfriend. She wanted someone to be hers. She took advantage of the boy feelings. She accepted without any second thoughts. She broke up without hesitating for the truth lies beneath the lies which was she never did like the boy and she was in love with another guy who has looks, bad personality, bad temper, egoistic and nothing comes goodness from him.

The boy had forgotten the meaning of love. He had lost his life. Start a new and lifeless one. He was suffering madly for few years that it was so hard for him to breath. He cried once a blue moon, blaming everything on him. The boy was loveless. He was lonely. He threw himself away from his friends, lock up in a room of darkness. Not a seep of light penetrating the wall of sorrow and tears. He hates himself. He was a faker, even though he is sad; he would just laugh and smile. Until now, he is still trying to find a new love. He heard that to cure a pain of an old love, he needed to find for a new love. He never succeeded until now. He lives in his world of black and white.

The End

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I love you although its hard

This story is very much different to any story i wrote. One of my close friend was joking about it at first, but i really wanted to try writing this type of story. Both of us share some theory and ended up with this story.

Warning! Not recommended for guys. Recommended to girls.

My first day of school was the best thing that ever happens. I used to study at Pahang, but since my parents had a great job offer here; we moved here to Terengganu. I’m studying at a boarding school. Since a lot people hear cases of bullying, I was expecting that to happen to me too. I would be the bullies’ favourite because of my size; I am middle height and average weight.

When I entered the class, a lot people look at as I was the new student. Many sharp stare was stabbing me. I knew that I would be out casted by everyone since I’m different from them. Suddenly 3 large size guys surround me. One of them said “wow, new student eh? From the city, you smell filthy. I think you need to cough up some cash so other people would not bother you.” “My got, this is crazy. At least give me a few days: on the first day I had to go through this kind of scene” I thought to myself. Suddenly a guy who had a better build; he wears a spectacles and had beautiful medium long hair. He walks to me and push the guys away easily. He looks at me and said to the thugs. “Hey, leave this kid alone. I thought I told you guys to leave your hand of the freshman.”

Three of them left immediately while whispering among themselves. “Hi, my name is Zukairi, what’s yours? They are always like that; playful but they won’t mean any harm” He said to me. “My name is Shariff” I told him hesitantly. My day went on with ease. We talk when we out of class. He introduced me to his friends. They were very friendly with me. Every break and lunch time, I would hang out with them. Zukairi was like a brother to me, I know I would suffer if he was not there on the first day. As time pass by, we got really close. We were close friends, he treats me really nice. I would help him when he had money problem during the end of the month. Apparently his parents are overseas working. He doesn’t talk much bout them.

One day, when we walk back to his house to have fun together. He said he bought a new game that was really awesome. His house is larger than anyone house I ever seen around here. He had a high specification computer, a PS2 and Wii. As we reach the house, the view of the sunset was so beautiful. His hair was orangey colour, it really mesmerize me. Suddenly he said something to me. I wasn’t really paying attention. He holds my hand and pulls me close to me. I was shocked. His perfume was strong and nice when my head was push next to his chest. He said “I know that you treat me like your brother, but I have always been looking out for you that I don’t want to last like this. I know this would be weird to you as it is to me. Love is something that is beautiful and ugly; sharp and blunt; sweet and sour. But I really love you.”

I was really stunned at that time. I don’t know what to say or do. I ran away with a awkward feeling towards him. He did not chase after me. He looks at me with sadness and regret. On Monday, he came to school but he sat far away. I did not dare to look at him for the rest of the week. I did not hang out with him or his friends. Whenever he called me, I did not answer. I stayed far away from him. After a week, I started to miss him. I feel like I was missing something from my life. I thought that my feelings toward him were like brothers. I did not notice it was something more than that. One day, I pulled my courage to talk to him again. He said that he was sorry. I told him that I miss him a lot and I would try to work out this weird relationship. He looks at me with shock. He did not see that coming.

It was weird at the beginning but it was lovely and great after time passes long. This was our great secret that we hid away from everyone. Nobody would acknowledge this kind of relationship. One of our teachers was getting worried and suspicious of our close ‘friendship’. He was our agama teacher. He knew there was something wrong with our conversation and movement. When we went to a pub, it was really dark as people wont notice much to their surrounding. We took a quick kiss on the lips. Suddenly somebody hold our shoulder. We look around and knew we were in deep trouble. It was our agama teacher that caught us. He said that he knew something was wrong and keep an eye on us.

It was against our teaching to be in this type of relationship. We pleaded him to close one eye and leave use. He did not care; he brought us to the headmaster the next day. The headmaster was furious. They made matter worst, they called up both of our parents. Zukairi family was still overseas. My parents came in with anger and disbelief in their eyes. Without any warning, Zukairi was lying on the floor. My dad slapped him very hard. After a long argument between the teacher and my parents. We were force to be separated. Zukairi went to Kelantan to continue his studies. I return to Pahang to my old school. We lost contact as my parents did not give me any freedom at all. I was really depressed. As time pass by, I felt lonely and did not care much about people. I only want him. I was lifeless.

A year pass without news of Zukairi; maybe he hated me because I did not write a letter to him or tried to contact him at all. I couldn’t remember how he looks like and was slowly giving up. I was working part time job during holiday to speed up time. On the first day of working, things became unexpected. I recognize someone that I knew. At the moment my life started to move again.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Hit and Run

Picture of Unknown. Editted by Dark Nogisaka

Since young I have been fascinated by cars. My dad brought me to the F1 track when I was five. The roaring and purring sound of the cars makes me excited.

Things aren’t always about car. At least I have a nice life to go on with. On the first day of college, I woke up late because I was busy working on my car at night. I was in a hurry and ran as fast as I could to the lecturing hall. Most students stay in the dorm of the college because there isn’t any appropriate house to live in. At the junction of the hall, suddenly a girl appeared. I could not slow down and knock the girl down. So that’s how my first day of college started out.

“Ouch. Watch where you’re going! You jerk!” said the girl. “Sorry I was in a hu..” I was suddenly cut off. “Damn you! Are you blind?” She shouted angrily. Everyone was looking at us now. I was shocked and do not want to tolerate with her. I started leaving her alone with her mess. She pulled my shirt and said “Hey are you going to help me clean my stuff?” I help her gather her stuffs and help her stand. “Ouch, my leg hurts. I think you injured my ankle." Without hesitation I carry her on my back to her class. Luckily she was in the same lesson with me and we used the excuse ‘she was injured, I need to carry her here’ for coming in late.

She had to sit beside me because there wasn’t any seat left. It was feeling awkward. “I am Tina. Aren’t you going introduce yourself to me?” She looked at me coldly. “I’m Rick.” I said with frustration. For the rest of the week I need to help her move about. From that time, we got to knew each another better. It was surprising she was in love in cars too. We talk about cars, the model of cars, specification of cars, upgraded cars and a lot more.

Eventually I bought a Mitsubishi Skyline, with beautiful spoilers, tinted window, specially made exhaust, breath taking rims and the front, side and back bumper is specially imported from Japan. The best thing about it is the installed engine which was use for racing. It was illegal to use it but it was the best thrill of all. I started racing at night to earn large sum of cash. Tina was worried of me but sometimes give me advice to be careful. On the night of white day, I brought her out for a fancy dinner. I look into her eyes solemnly and confess to her. She accepted reluctantly.

Things went well. The money I earn was spent on the car and also on her. 3 years pass quickly that we wanted to settle down. She wants to start a family, while I had to quit my illegal racing and open a ‘repairing car shop’. She asked me to stop racing immediately and begin finding a lot to start working. Since it was the last time, I had promise with a racer to race after twelve around my area. She was angry at me and just let me do what I want. We dint talk much that day.

When the sun fall, the moon rises. I called Tina on my cell phone to check up on. Apparently she did not take her phone with her or she was avoiding my calls. The clock starts ticking and we’re off racing. On the last lap, I was leading and was going to win my last race. The time was 3.32 A.M on my digital clock. On the sharp corner, suddenly a figure crossed the road. I was lack of time and didn’t see it coming, I knock down the figure. I was afraid I kill the person; I didn’t want to lose my new life with Tina. I did not stop to see the person was safe or not. I speed away into the darkness.

I went home to sleep, but my body was trembling with fear and guilt. I was so restless the next morning. My phone suddenly rang, it was Tina’s mom. She ordered me to go to the hospital now. She had a wearily tone. After that, I notice I had a miss call by Tina around 3.32 A.M. I reach the hospital before 4P.m. When I reach the hallway, it was filled with gloomy and sad aura. Tina’s mom was crying loudly and hugging her husband tightly. I ran to the couple and look into the I.C.U room and notice Tina was seriously injured and was warped around with bandage. She was heavily bleeding too. The bandages were soaking with blood.

Tina mom told me that she could not be saved. Tina was at the edge of her life. She lost a lot of blood. She was found lying on the roadside with her phone unconscious and bleeding. Apparently, she tried calling someone and did not look around before she cross the road and was involve in a hit and run incident. It was 3.33P.M, Tina held and releases her last breath.

Rick was in dilemma because it was him that killed her. Rick screams, holding his head, trying to pull his hair out. Thousand of tears flow. Rick fell to the ground, pleaded and asking for help. His plead was not asking help from the people around but from god.
He speeds down the highway, aimlessly without any thought at all. He was filled with sorrow, guilt and regrets. He killed himself in a car accident. He went off a cliff and his remains were not found.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Revenge

-リベンジ- [Japanese]
-复仇- [simplified Chinese]
-복수- [Korean]
-Vendetta- [Italian]
-Vingança- [Portuguese]
-La venganza- [Spanish]

Testimony 1

On a stormy night, rain fell as hard as stone. The night is so bloody red and the moon as white as snow. An abandoned church lies on the side of a cliff. The wave is smashing the rocks below the cliff as if it were a hammer. A man with tattered clothes is lying beside the cross, a half broken misshapen blade lies beside him. He prayed for the Lord's mercy and asks for His forgiveness. Suddenly the roof was tore apart. Water fall in as if they were thrown in. The Water looks like blood under the moonlight. A figure which look like an angel appear from no where, looking at the man with its burning red eyes.

“You!!! HOW DARE YOU!! I, the son of Amon will bring your soul into the deepest core of HELL!!! God will not send his lambs to save you. Your God Forsaken! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Rot in HELL.” , said the figure. The cloud moves apart and moon light is shone unto the dark figure. It has a human body. It has curly and blonde hair as beautiful as silk. Its body has muscular shape. The wings growing from its back is in charcoal black. On the right hand holds a necklace with an upside down cross. The left hand has a devilish shape and is burning in black flame. The most terrifying part is the burning red eyes without pupils and is flowing tears of blood.

The figure disappears and appears beside the man. It tore his left hand which was reaching for the sword. It breaks both of his leg to prevent him running. “You will suffer for what you have done. I will thank you for changing me into this powerful monster. I will torture you slowly.” It said. The monster roars as load as a thunder strike. The large cross hanging on the wall fell and landed on the guy torso. The monster smile and laugh, “do you think I will let you die so fast?” It threw the cross across the room and landed upside down and he bends and started chanting. Dark shadows appear under the man and slowly eats the man torso. The man screams with pain. The shadow will not kill him; it will heal him and injects poison which makes the victim feel a painful stab around the body and a painful burning sensation.
The monster summons out six black nails and a hammer. The hammer flew to the right hand of the monster and the nails suspense above the man. The monster moves the nail with telekinesis to the guy’s right hand and smashes the nail into his hand. Bone cracking can be heard. The man screams with agony. Tears start running down his eyes.

Testimony 2

Two months ago. James became insane and obsesses with god’s testament. His first victim was a man who lives with cats. He chops off the guy’s head and threw it into the microwave, feeds his cats with his flesh. After the cat had finished their so called lunch, James threw the cats into the microwave with the man head. He on it and slowly stare into it. The microwave burst in flame and blood is splattered around the whole room and also on James. He smile and started laughing with joy.
James continues his murderous conquest until he kills his fifth and sixth victim, a couple who was going to marry each another at a young age.

Testimony 3

Amos met with Cassandra at a church beside a beautiful lakeside. They started dating around age sixteen. They were such a happy couple, everyone was envy of them. Amos called Cassandra, “Dear, meet me in MacDonald beside the florist shop. Yeah, I will wait. Love you too.” Amos was ready to propose to her after 8 years being together. They would argue sometimes because of small things but it was because they wanted things to be suitable for themselves. The sweet couple is filled with honey and a little sour lemon experience. They had learned to forgive each another and accepted the difference they share. ‘The second nail was smashed into his left arm’

Cassandra reaches the restaurant but it was suspicious because it was empty. Nobody was there, no customer and workers. Only Amos was there beside a window looking outside. He look like he was thinking hard of something, maybe he was thinking about his project his manager gave him. As Cassandra moves to Amos, things were awkward and Amos looks at her with his sweet smile. When Cassandra sat down, Amos holds her hand and kisses it. He slowly hold her around her waist and told her that he love her so much that it was a poison. Cassandra laughs, looks at him and said, “What are you up to again? Did you get fired again by your manager?” Amos denied and laughs suspiciously. Cassandra feels weird and laughs at him. Suddenly she felt something annoying on her right hand, it feels like a bulge on her forth finger. She looks at it and notice a gold ring with sparkling diamonds circling around it. She was shocked. Amos whisper into her ears and said, “Will you marry me?” She smile and kiss him on his lips and said, “Of course I will, I’ve been waiting for quite a long time for the sentence.” Suddenly the restaurant was filled with cheering and it was suddenly filled with people. Everyone was hiding. ‘The third and forth nail was smash into his right leg and into his left upper torso.

Things went well as their parents have planned. They were planning to hold the ceremony in the same church they met. On the day of the marriage, things were going smooth until a horrible event happened. A man with a machete enters the church and hold Cassandra as a captive. Amos ran towards him to save her. The man slices him in the abdomen and Amos fell on the floor screaming in pain. Cassandra freed herself and ran towards Amos. The man chops Cassandra head without any second thought. Her head drop beside Amos. Her eyes were directly facing him with tears. Amos screams as loud as he could and got up like magic. He ran towards the man and cursing that he will find him afterlife. The man slices Amos in half. Everyone was running out the hall when the slaughtering happens. Nobody wanted to help the lovely couple.

Dark Testimony

Amos sold his soul to the devil to have his revenge. He was full with rage and sorrow that it was snacks for the devil. In return of his soul and agony, he will be reborn into earth to fulfill his revenge and create havoc. He grew stronger and stronger as his anger became uncontrollable. His eyes was filled with fury. His left hand becomes darker and darker. Black wings were growing out his back. His voice became a growl. ‘The fifth nail was smashed through his right face. The nail went trough the right and enters the left side of the face. His face was misshapen but he was still alive.

Armageddon

The monster laughs with sickening growl. It looks at him and smile. “Don’t you remember me? I’m the one you sliced into half, you killed my loved one. Do you know how much I hate you?” It said with his terrifying smile. He positions the sixth and last nail above James left eyes. Amos smashes the nail into his head with lightning speed that it shook the earth. The hammer breaks into pieces. The cliff begins to rumble and a crack begins to form. The cliff fell into the sea. Amos left a sick joke with James. The poison in James blood stream will keep him alive no matter what, James will suffer in the sea with the salt burning his injury. James will never grow old. He will live until Amos feel satisfied, but Amos has no more feelings. James will suffer forever. Amos flew away with his evil laugh but with his infinite tears of blood.

Stars

I wrote this for my SPM paper 1 section B, question 5. I couldn't remeber it exactly. It is almost the same.

The mom's name is Ester. Dunno what language, it means daughter of star or the hope of a star.[sumthing like tht]
The son name is Brian. It sound like brain. so i juz put it like tht.. i know lame.. lolz. juz thought of it suddenly.. its not written in my essay or passed up to examiner.. it just an extras in my blog.


I had a weak body when I was a small boy. I couldn’t go out and play with my friends like a normal boy. Due to the overwhelming debt made by my father to pay for my medical fees, he had no solution to pay for it. He ran away, leaving me and my mother. Luckily, my mom had saved money secretly for my future education. She used the money to pay for the debts.

One night, the electricity was cut off due to unknown reason. I cried because I was afraid of the dark. My mom brought me out of the garden. It was a cold and windy night. The house looks scary and larger than usual due to the darkness. She kissed my rose red cheek. My skin was as smooth as silk. The wind touches me softly. I look like a girl when I was young. I stopped crying. She told me look up in the sky. I saw astonished by the small, sparkling and beautiful light. I ask her what it is. She explains to me that it is a star; people believe that when they died of a happy life, they will become a star. She told me that I should work hard to become a successful person and have a peaceful life.

After that incident, I became very diligent. I study very hard and tried my best to earn a scholarship. I was athletic and a top student. I finish college with no problem. When I was small, people would look down on us because we live in poverty. Now people would always try to steal our heart with their sweet talk. People always change their view when people changes. They will always take advantages of people. After 3 years in my medicine course, I finally became a doctor. I reduce my mom burden as the head of family and the bread maker.

At first I work in a normal hospital. It was like a war in there. It’s like a feudal period. Only those can get high post if they are liked by the Head of Department. I had to work so hard, to become who I am now. I work with many people who are full of experience. I saved many people but also grieve for those I could not save. I became a well known and a respected doctor at a young age. This not only brings fortune to me but also misfortune. Those who are older and couldn’t make it to where I stand, despise me. It’s like entering a heated room.

I decide to open a clinic to avoid things getting worst. Unfortunately, my mom was infected with an unknown disease. Nobody had heard of it before. She was in dire need for help. I work with many people though it was hard. After 6 month has passed, there was no bright outcome of finding the cure. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. I knew I will fail but I kept on working on the cure. Many doctor quit because it was hopeless. I spend a lot of time with my mom. Bringing her around the hospital, bring her for vacation when she had permission to leave the hospital for a week or two.

One night, I sat on a chair at the balcony after researching through paper work. It was a windy night, same like when I was small. The sky was filled with many stars. I prayed to it that I would find a cure to save my mom. 2 month later, my mom passes away when her body could not take it anymore. I cried so hard for the whole night knowing whenever I reach home, there won’t be anyone there anymore. I have nobody to talk to when I’m sad or happy. I have nobody to take care anymore. Nobody would correct my mistake or scold me anymore. My life became lonely.

After a year had passed, my hard work had paid off. I found the cure. A thousand of people will be saved, but many have died. One of them is my mom. I left the building, with my tears. I let go tears of happiness for the fortunate and tears of sadness for my mom and those who died roll down my red hot cheek. I sat on a bench at a park nearby. I lost track of time and notice it was night already. It was a cold and windy night. I look up into the sky and tears started rolling down my cheek again. There was a new star shining brighter than the others. It is sparkling so gracefully. I smile weakly, clear my thirsty throat and said, “I love you too.”

[794 words]

Friday, November 7, 2008

Forbidden Love

This story is SX-18.. Not recommended for Minors

In the Cursed Forest, a young man was running helplessly and aimlessly away from his homeland. His Wife, son, daughter, brother, sister and neighbours was brutally slaughter. Limbs of people can be seen lying around. Headless body smashes and hammered to the wall. Heads tied to every houses, some stab through the mouth, into earlobes, coming out from eye socket and the back of the head, Eyeball hanging socketless. Every corner of the village is stained with blood.

The bloodthirsty demons are after the young man who narrowly escapes death. Ragged clothes torn and tattered. The young man was running to somewhere he thought was safe. The land was called as Land of Heavenly Beings and is a taboo for any mere human to enter. Anyone who accidently or purposely enter the land is never seen or heard ever again. He ran out of the forest and end up in front of an old castle. He was astonished to find something so incredible. Though the castle was old, the handcrafting was remarkable. It was a treasure.

He ran towards it. Slowly, he felt dizzy and sleepy. Before he knew what was going on, he falls into a deep sleep. He dream was disturbed by strange voice or sound. It was like a melancholic song, the voice or sound was so sweet and low. When he opens his eyes, he saw a woman in front of him. She was so beautiful like an angel. Her skin was as fair as snow. Her lips are as black as coal. Her eyes are as beautiful as fox. Her movement was as breath-taking of a goddess.

At first sight, he falls in love. A voice broke the silence. “Who are you? And why are you here? “, ask the woman. “I’m Sung Ho, son of a farmer. I was chased by demons. Everyone I knew was… was killed. “, he sulked. “What a coincidence. I’m Sung Wa. I believe you’re tired, hungry and thirsty?” she said with her sweet smile. “What happen to the demons? “, Sung Ho ask reluctantly. “You do not need to worry of anything. I believe they will never disturb you ever again. Quickly drink this soup before it gets cold. ”, she grinned.
Sung Ho was puzzled and quickly gulps down the soup to show respect to his savior. He felt strange towards her. He was curious why would a beautiful maiden like her would be in an old castle. She looked at him and turn away as if she could read his mind. He felt sleepy again and dozed off.

It was morning the time he woke up. Nobody was there. He felt awkward because the room looks different. He wandered off and ended up at the balcony next to the room he was in. He was amazed by the magnifying view around the castle. He had never seen such beautiful gifts by gods. The Forest looks like a green carpet spread across the land until the endless horizon.

His wandering mind was cut off by a women who was standing beside him. She appear from nowhere. “Its magnificent isn’t it? It was said it was created by goddess from the heaven because they pitied the human race that destroyed it. “Destroy? What does she meant by that.” Sung Ho thought. She replied, “Men was greedy. They wanted power, land and money. They were so desperate and was blinded by greed that they destroy the whole world. Only 5% of human race is left and it is decreasing.”
[The world was not from the past, but a world into the distance future.]
“Here your change of clothes, don’t tell me you want to wear that for the rest of your stay? Quickly change. Go.” She said. Sung Ho changed and followed her down. He entered a large room, the room was lighted up brightly but there were no candles or stranger object projecting the light. A large amount of food was prepared on the table but there was no one there. “They will be down after we finish, they are not accustom to strangers.” She said. They went up again. Suddenly there were voices coming from the room they came from. He was confused but do not dare to ask.
He came back into the room, it changed again. There were tables, cupboards, decoration and brighter this time. He was thankful but was starting to feel strange of the weird phenomenon that was happening. But for some reason he continued to stayed, everyday was a new day for him for things changes every time, his room, the dining hall and some places changes. He was brought around to new place every time. He did not know that the castle was so enormous. Nevertheless he never see anyone else beside Sung Wa but he can hear voices.

A month pass, he knew Sung Wa was not like him, but he fell in love. He wanted to know more of her. Sung Wa showed no reaction to his thought but slowly everyday she became closer to him. One night, Sung Ho felt weird after drinking from a cup served by Sung Wa. She slowly crept up to him, hold his hand and kiss him on the cheek. Sung Ho lost control and pushes her to the ground, this time holding her hand down to the floor, harassing her female sense. His legs between her tight, his head on her chest, slowly kissing her chest, licking her breast. Going further up and kiss her on her lips. Tongue moving rapidly in both mouths. His hand groping her breast and caressing it. She hugs him tightly and moans. He licks every part of her. Slowly his other hand lets go of her hand and move to between her legs. Fingering her g-spot. She pleaded “Please don’t play with me anymore, I cant stand it. Let me be yours.” He goes on, ignoring her cries. Her ecstasy reaches the climax and she cried. She pin him down and position correctly, moving up and down, slow and fast. The night goes on.

The next morning, he woke up and look around. He was alone. He thought it was a dream, but it couldn’t be, her erotic fragrance was still fresh. Before he could stand, she came in with breakfast. She sat beside him, shoulder by shoulder, she kiss him on the cheek. He ask her what did she do to him. She said “I do no know, my grand mother gave me the herbs and ask me to prepare it for you.” He was stunned, he did not knew she had family. He was furious and demanded to be cleared of his curiosity. She looked sad and told him everything. He was shocked and slowly began to crept away from her. He ran down and starts storming out of the castle and began running towards the forest. She chase after him and pleaded him to stop.

The moment he enters, he felt a sharp pain on his right arm and chest. He heard sound of bone breaking. He was flung to a tree. He was surrounded by dark disfigured creatures. He was helpless. He wanted someone to help but he knew no one will be able to safe him. He shut his eyes and covered his head as the figure brings up something that looks like its hand trying to pound him into dust. Suddenly he heard chains coming from no where. Cries can be heard. The moment he looked up, he saw lumps of meat being torn away, and the bodies remain there lifeless. Blood was splatter onto him, small pieces of meat lands on him. The land was massacre with blood and chunks of meat. The creature was no where to be seen, not even a shadow. He notices something that caught his attention. The sound was no chain; it was black feather, swaying it in path. He recognize the dark angel, it was Sung Wa. This time with majestic wings.

She told him earlier, she was not human. But a demon banish by the heaven and hell. Everyone in the castle was demons. He thought awhile, she does not look like a demon but an angel. The wings disappear and she moves towards the ground like feather, so elegant. She ran towards him and cried. She grabs hold of him and hugged him so that he would not run away again. He felt the sudden rush of pain and scream. He found out that he whole arm was broken, the bones was shattered. His ribs were torn and blood was flowing through his chest. One of his rib has punctured through his lungs. He was gasping for air. The tear from her cheek drops onto his wound and it healed. She ask him to close his eyes, he heard the sound of undressing. He felt her warm and cloth less body lying on him. Slowly, the pain resides. She kiss him warmly and he could breath normally, he couldn’t feel the sharp pain in his chest anymore. Suddenly he felt his arm being torn away. Sung Wa tears began to drop. “your lungs and arm will not heal anymore. The worst part is the rib was punctured through your heart also. You will not live. I love you too dear to lose you but if you drink from my blood, you will survive. But your thoughts will be mine, my thoughts will be yours. Your feelings will be mine, my feelings will be yours. Our pain and happiness will be shared. You will never die and age anymore. The downfall of it is there is a low chance that both of us will live.”
Sung Ho whispers as he could not talk normally. “I love you too. And it does no matter as we will live together and the other hand, we die together.” She lift her arm weakly and she cuts her veins with her fingernail. He starts sucking it. Both of them fall to the ground lifelessly.

White lights began surrounding them. Both of them vanished. Suddenly both of them was standing and was surrounded by intense light. Sung Wa was not shocked but puzzled for she knew this place. A trembling voice rumbles. “You have break the taboo. It is forbidden for a human and a demon to be together. The punishment for both of you would be death sentence. The upper status have overthrown it and a lighter punishment is given for Sung Wa had put her life on the edge to save a human. The second reason was because Sung Ho was a reincarnation of a well known deity who have saved a lot of trouble. Both of you are pardon. The punishment is that when the two of your die, you will never live again. Your soul will disintegrates after you die.”

The land trembles and both of them drop like stone. They found themselves again on a familiar surrounding. They were in the forest again. Few humanlike figures was surrounding them. All of them were like Sung Wa. As beautiful as Sung Wa, Lips as black as her, skin as fair as her. A voice broke the silence, “my granddaughter was saved” a weak voice spoken.
A lady who was more beautiful than anyone around approaches and hugs both of them. They were brought to the castle into a large room. Sung Wa introduced her grandmother, a high rank demon. The leader of the clan. The reason they were banished to earth was because they intervened the flow of human kind by saving earth. They were the goddesses who save earth. Sung Ho and Sung Wa lived together, there were no secret untold. No hidden feeling unknown. The night became paradise. They cannot be separated by anything even death.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Love is Blind

Picture by Chen Mun Hong. Edited By Dark Nogisaka



Funny thing is that life doesn’t seem like the Sweet and Loving Cinderella story that girl meets boy fall in love and live happily ever after. Or boy meet girl and live happily ever after.

Reminiscing about the past is a funny thing. ; Tom came in rushing into the room. “Hey guys. Guess what? I got a new girlfriend =D” James said “Wow, number what now? 6th?” James is my close friend and my room mate.
Tom replied angrily “Yeah. I can never seem to fine the right one. I just do not know, after a while I don’t really feel anything for them.” Mary my best friend since childhood said “Maybe they aren’t your right one. Sometimes you never realize what is in front of you.” Tom was thinking why she said that.

On the 1st day, Tom went out with Jessica, his new girlfriend or his 6th. Tom did what every normal couple will do. They went for a movie, karaoke, shopping and having dinner at a restaurant. Jessica was so fond of him since she came to school on the first day. Tom help her out when she fell after being knocked over by a stranger, soon he found out they are studying in the same college. He walks her to college and shows her around.

They day pass by fast, both of them sharing love and happiness. Day changes to month. They dated for over 2 month. But soon Tom doesn’t feel right as he usual do with his ex-girlfriend. Things didn’t turn out the way he wants. He don’t know why he was feeling bored for her. Though she was perfect but he feels bored. She always meets his expectation. She was always obeying. They never argued.

On one rainy night, they went out for dinner at a fancy restaurant. He went to her and bends over her. She was overjoyed to think that he was proposing to her. He bends and kisses her on the forehead and said “I know you love me so much, I could not give what you want. I could not give you back my love. I just do not know why, but I can’t just have the right feelings for you.” He puts the money on the table to pay off the bill.

She went home sulking. She places her jacket on the hanger to dry it off and saw something out of place. Her mom called “Jessie! Tom came by just now.” She realize there was a bouquet of rose on her bed and she saw a note on it. It reads “I’m Sorry. Don’t cry. I know you will find a better buy next time.”

Tom reaches to his room and sat down by the window and drank tea, English breakfast his favourite taste whenever something sad came up. Mary broke the silence “Hey James. You owe me fifty now?” James moans and shoved the money to her hand. Tom was puzzled “wow, James since when you were broke? I thought you came from a wealthy family” Mary cut in “He didn’t borrow me money, I bet with him that you will break up with her again.”

Tom jumps into bed and cover his head with a pillow, “You guys and your cruel sense of humour.” Mary and James cuddle up with Tom. “We know you’re sad, but we have always been here for you.” Tom uncover his face and look at them, “I’ve been thinking about what you said last time. Love is blind.”

Tom grabs hold of both of his friends and hugs them. Who really need partner anyways? He lets go of them and holds Mary hand tightly, “It must be really late, but I found out that why I can never love another person is because my heart was with you.” He pulls her head closed. He smooches her on her hand, her arm, her neck, her forehead and slowly on her lips. She cried and said, “Maybe it is really too late. I really wish I could really return my love to you but I’m moving to London next week. It was a last minute changes since my dad was offered up a great opportunity to work there”
Tom lowers his head and just sighs. “I will wait for you.”

A few months later, Now. I’m drinking English breakfast again reading a letter stamp from London;

Dear Tom,
I’m sorry but due to unforeseen circumstances I will not be returning. Things have change. I have change, you’re right, love is blind. Every night crying because every time, when I have the courage to confess to you. You will get another girlfriend. Being happy knowing that you break up. Laughing because you never realize I was there.
I got engage to a guy here, and I’m moving again. Please don’t try to find me and please do forget me.

With Love,
Mary.

Sometimes things never turn out to be the right way. I have nothing to do now but sulk with my best mate, English Breakfast tea.

I.... still...... love....... you...........

Here lying on a white bedridden bed.
Cover by a white sheet of blanket.
In a white room.
The colour you love so much.
Thinking of you.
Crying..

Hey baby.
I miss the time we had together.
The time we go out together.
The time we laugh together.
The time we cherish each another.
The time we kiss each another
The time we melt together.

Beep~...Beep~...Beep~...Beep~

Come on baby. I don't hate you. Don't cry.
No matter what u will do to me, I love you.
The way u make me jealous, I love you.
The way you torment me, I love you.
The way u stab my heart, I love you.
I know you hate me, But I Love You.

Beep~...Beep~...Beep~...Beep~

To let you know.
Trash me the way you want.
Throw me the way you want.
Torture me the way you want.
Hurt me the way you want.
Punch, kick, jab, stab. Anyhow you want.
I will do anything you want.

Beep~...Beep~...Beep~...Beep~

I know that you left.
Leaving me here with tears.
Leaving me here with smile.
Leaving me here alone.
Leaving me here wondering.
Leaving me with your lies.
Leaving me with your belonging.
Leaving me with your heart.
Leaving me with your body.
Leaving me without your soul.

Beep~...Beep~...Beep~.....Beep~

You know that i love you so much.
That you can't bear to tell me.
That you can't bear to see me.
That you can't bear to call me.
That you can't say that you're dying.

Beep~.....Beep~.....Beep~........Beep~

I realize that its too late.
I miss you so much.
I Love you so much.
After what happen,
I change so much.
Doing penance, too much
Become a better person to be with you.
In the afterworld

Beep~.......Beep~.........Beep~..............Beep~

Baby. I know;
But you left with my Heart.
My everlasting love.
Never to rot. Never to fade.
Wait for me dear.
I will be with you soon.
I Love you.

Beeeep~.....................................
-Silence-
Here's wat people usually say of me..
Jian, y u so desperate in love d?
You know r.. this guy fall in love easy d..
ETC ETC..

lolz.. few of my frenz saying this around..
I know it looks desperate.. But its life.. There's are many fishes in the world.. especially in Singapore.. Drool... there are many damn casual leng lui.. Compare to Msia, mostly are Lala Leng lui.. Not disciminating.. I'm a Lala Chai too.. LOL

I also want a wife from Japan.. Cuz there are good during the day and night.. Hehehehe.. dont think of me badly, its life and people should start being open.. Like my tuition teacher.. he was talking bout sex safety.. and ask everyone bout condom.. "you see condom before?" the guy answer "yea.. in books.."
He then complain.. "Y are malaysian so closed minded.. this is what being geeky call.. people should be open minded like "you see condom before.." Replied " yea i bought it before." He's Subash.. LOL

Alrite.. Love is something to be treasured. There's will never be love when only one sided is happy. So both Must try hard to make both party being happy..
In Love Relation.. There's never a problem.. There's never hate..
>>you hate him/her b'cuz of his bad sides<<
>>you love him/her of what he is.<<

The couple need to walk on the pathway full of thorns to reach the Golden Path.
No pain No Gain.. =D

[Couples VS Singles]
Well the person who told me is Suki.. =D
I totally agree..
Couple sumtimes are sad.. But mostly happiness.. Dont be blinded by the sadness..
People who are hurt can never let it go and dont dare to love again.. (SOME)
They wont dare to couple again. Saying Being singles is good.. I have quite a few frens who are quite compact.. [Is that a compliment or discriminating? What the means too.. HUH? I DONT KNOW. LOL]

Here's the real deal.
Being single is alrite.. Its fun cuz we can do much thing.. Not being restraint by anything.. Not being hurt.. But when we reach above 27.. ITS A COMPLETE SAD CASE!
At that age, it lonely and juz plain sad.. Not being to enjoy the nectar of love..

But being couple is alrite too.. The fun is double.. The love is there. The restraint is there.. You will be proud being able to be a gentleman..
My fren said this to me.. I know sumtimes when coupling, your hard itchy d.. your mouth itchy and that thing down there itchy d.. But you must always control.. LOL
PEOPLE OUT THERE, DONT BLAME ME, BLAME MY GENDER. BUT I HAVE SELF CONTROL.

Being a gentleman melts most girls heart.. Being gentle, understanding, sweet, funny..
ENGK! sorry.. i'm a wild gentleman.. So i wont show this in public.. Only at the right time, the right place.. I dont Show the Real me around.. I will always be the 'other' self.. The crazy, frenly, ETC ETC guy.. =P

Rap?

hey.. yo..
i'm nothing but discrimination. abomination. your destruction.
If i can change the world. it wont be round. nothings there to go around.
Oh great granfather forgive your great grandson for being such a great ass.

If i know what's love about, there's wont be hardship and happiness.
If i know what's happiness about, there's never going to be hatread.
If i can love, then i can hate.
Hey yo, people of the world put up your hand up and jump and sing..
If i can, then there will be..
If i cant, then there no hope..

hey look at this person standing not bringing his hand up, whats wrong?
your broke your hand or you never had one..
so indescrinimate, literal, reality not here..
hey, you know what. you might have your bush up your puss,
come pussy, say a word..

I cant understand the words you said.
bli bla bla blu bla bla bla blib la bub?
Nothing out your mouth make sense, bib la but you said..
come on we talk english her not jibberish..
i rap my ass on your face and rape your mom everynight.

If i know what's love about, there's wont be hardship and happiness.
If i know what's happiness about, there's never going to be hatread.
If i can love, then i can hate.
Hey yo, people of the world put up your hand up and jump and sing..
If i can, then there will be..
If i cant, then there no hope..

Fuck the hall, fuck the shelter, fuck you, fuck everyone, fuck the world..
What your gonna say? mayb i'm not your tea.. but i'm an outtie. cuz i'm terrified you gonna choke on your words..

(no racial issue, just make a rap for fun..)
I love 8Mile( a movie based on Eminem's life)
If I'm destined to live in your Memories,
Its Better for me to live in those Forgotten Memories.
I dont want you to suffer if I come back..
But for the first time we met It has always been yours..

If it was gonna end,
Why did you gave me the chance to Live..
But Thank you for showing me what's True Love.
In the end Before it has began,
It has already Ended..

Thank You..
Dont blame Him..
Dont remember me..
In this world,
There's something wrong with people..
So What's Love?
So What's Happiness?

Freeze. Don't Move..
Because I cant never Move..
What I've Done?
In this farewell,
There's no Blood, There's no alibi..
Cause I've drawn Regret,
From the Truth, of a thousand Lies.
So let Mercy come, and wash away..
My Existence in this World

[AfterWords]
This poem is not meant for anyone.. Just blog it out of boredom and compile it from the thought of reading a comic..

Rather than i poem, its actually more to a rap.. Cuz it doesnt rhymes..

Memories

Here i sleep on my deathbed.. thinking about wat u said..

It was so similar to my forbidden past.. long forgotten.. a painful past..

the words.. i like it.. and also hated it..

i'm afraid tht i will be shattered on the ground again..

I shed a tear.. grab my heart. preventing it to burst..

I cough a dry air. i grab my head.. my hair.. Thinking bout the past..

Listening to gazette - Reila.. i felt my lungs stab.. i felt my heart crumpled..

i might have hurt your feeling or not.. i would apologize for what i did..

if a word should be spoken.. not in message.. but a call. but spoken face to face..

I hate myself for what i am.. for who i am.. I love God and Satan.

I'm Dark Nogisaka.. The burden of sins..

Pain

A : I'm so alone...
B : you've never been alone
A : then why cant i see the light.. beyond horizons.. everything is so dark
A : am i dead?
B : you are not dead.
A : then where am i.
B : same place.
A : when am i?
B : 6.66 morning..
A : y am i awake.. i feel so restless. my body weights a ton.. yet i cant feel anything.. i see nothing.. i hear nothing but u.. the silence piercing my ears hurts so much..
B : ...
A : yet something hurts more than the dead silence.. my torso hurts so much.. i cant breath.. the air is burning my lungs..
B : ...
A : WHAT IS THIS? Where's the rest of me.. i cant touch myself.. What am i?
B : a spirit..
A : You said i'm not dead..
B : Yes.
A : THEN?
B : Going to..
A : ...
C : Nothing will help.. but a blood pact with thy.. Take it..
A : What is the consequence?
C : Thou wont feel any pain anymore.. But poeple around thou will get hurt.. What thou Say
A : i hate.. i hate... i hate... I HATE EVERYONE!! I HATE THE WORLD!! but... mostly... I HATE MYSELF!!!
C : Thou shall carry this curse.. this sin forever.. In the end.. Thou will fall to hell.. Rot in hell.. Burn in hell.. and Forever in hell
A : I love.... only.. who?... i cant remember... only Him.. or Him or Him's... I love God and Satan...
C : then thou shall carry the oath.. you are.. Dark Nogisaka
A : Jian is dead.. Death is upon me.. Dark Nogisaka is me...