Missa Rabell

A warm breeze of wind lands on my ice cold cheek. The vast black charcoal sky above me filled with twinkling stars. Colourful stars below the mountain I’m on. I feel amazed at how life is such a wonderful place. From a distance, a couple is sharing their warmth right under a tree. On the left, Small kids walking fast full of excitement. Their parents give a sweet and warm smile. A salary man is sipping a cup of hot drink after a tiring day.

I felt jealous. I felt rage. I felt sorrow. I felt loneliness.
I lost my inspiration. I lost my will to share. I lost my will to think. I lost my will to walk. I lost my will to live. I’m here alone. Knowing there’s no one out there for me. Who would want a useless person? Who would want a lifeless person? Who would want me?

Have you felt completely lost? Have you felt complete sorrow? Have you undergo the feelings of hopeless? Have you lost something dear to you? Have you tainted your hand? Have you felt pure hatred?
My legs feel tired. My eyes are swollen. My chest hurts. My body feels cold. My….. A strong gust of wind blew right through me. I lift both my hands high. I flap my wings. My aim was the sky. Though my wings are broken, I flap it as hard as I go. I can close my eyes. Hearing the blaze of wind. A sudden thud. Siren. At the end, white sound….

Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum. Warum.

Why?
Why are you there?
Why do you stand there so boldly?
Why do you look into my eyes?
Why do you listen to my voice?
Why are you before me?
Why do you talk to me?
Why do you follow me around?
Why do you try to meddle in my affairs?
Why won't you leave me alone?
Why did you and i meet?
Why did you get to know me?
Why did you appear before me?
Why are you so attached to me?
Why do you laugh?
Why are you so meddlesome?
Why are you in such a good mood?
Why are you so cheerful?
Why don't you cry?
Why are you so bright?
Why do you seem to have fun?
Why do you look at everything?
Why do you know everything?
Why do you forgive everything?
Why are you happy about everything?
Why do you make me worry?
Why do you shake me?
Why do you make me lost?
Why are you interested in me?
Why do you make me suffer?
Why do you condemn me?
Why do you make fun of me?
Why do you trample all over me?
Why do you taunt me?
Why do you break me apart?
Why do you tear me apart?
Why do you beat me up?
Why can't you forgive me?
Why can't you understand me?
Why do you make me cry?
Why do you give me hope?
WHY DO YOU BRING ME TO DESPAIR?
WHY DO YOU PRESSURE ME?
WHY DO YOU TRAP ME?
WHY DO YOU DISTURB MY SOUL?
Why? Why? WHY? WHY?!?!
Why don't you leave already?
Why are you still there?
Why.... Do you exist?

[The courage to be alive
An entrusted future
The strength that everyone gave me
Trust in love.]

Love, i got to feel it.
If you put your trust in me.
I know what my life would be.
Oh, you are all i ever need.
I try to hear what you say.
So i pray. but you're fading away.
Don't go and break my fragile heart.
we won't fall apart.
'cause you're my only star.
I wonder why my tears come at night.
Calling you so like a little child.
All the things you have in mind.
I wish i could see your insides.
my love, you've got to feel it.
And if we put our trust in you and me.
You know what our love would be.
Oh, you are the one i believe.

[Crying.. Hand shaking.. Heart breaking.. Gasping for air]

Ef - A tale of memories(Season 1)
Ef - A tale of melodies(Season 2)
Something that's worth to watch..

I’m here. I’m still here. I’m sitting in this dark room all by myself. I’m holding the parcel that you gave me, the first and last. I’m regretting for what I have done. After reading the message from you, I want you again. It hurts so badly. I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you.

I know that I was a jackass. I’m just a god damn playboy. Why did I ever turn into this kind of person. Maybe this is because I was hurt once, I’m afraid of being hurt again; in the end I hurt those I love. I was played by a bitch. She stole my heart with her appearance, she was like an angel. No matter how many my times my friends tell me that she a playgirl; I did not listen. I ended up losing all my friends. I’m all alone. I want people to feel how I feel.

The time we spend together was like paradise; I never felt so warm and calm. The way you love; the way you hug me; the way you cheer me; the way you smile; the way you kiss me; the way you arouse me; the way you joke; the way you dress; the way you talk; I miss it all; I want it again.

As I open the box you sent to me. Foul stench fill the room. The box contains a heart; flooded with blood; a note lies on it. It reads, “I give you my heart. I love you.”







[Wrote for fun. It's not real]